This is the end, my only friend, the end.
The last night. I'm in Barcelona, sweating and grumpy because I went to the beach and swam in the ocean without sunscreen and I am paying the lobster-skin-piper. Not only is the humidity here atrocious, but now I have to lug my book filled bag to Madrid with searing needle pained shoulders. Whine, whine, whine, moan, moan, moan.
But the common theme of my journey has stayed consistent: through the vehicle of discomfort, despite frustration and confusion, comes honest clarity of thought and an uncommon cleansing of the stoic heart. I can be completely honest with myself and through that I know I am ready to come home folks.
I have felt this way for a little while now. It is not so much a homesickness or a disinterest in the cultures that surround me, but more so a deep desire for some permanence and what is familial. Those of you who have kept up with my infrequent bursts of musings are the people I need to sit down with and just look at and revel in your presence. I have done the same with all of my friends in South Africa, many times I would just catch myself staring at them and thinking how wonderful it was just to be near them again, hearing their voice while watching their expressions.
My new cache of experiences goes beyond any blog that I could diligently submit myself to. And it is not just a matter of seeing the sights to be seen, it is a great collection of small interactions and thoughts built upon and realized. A line that I have written on some of the postcards I have sent out to friends is "I have so much to think about now." Art projects to materialize, poems and short stories to be written, songs to be crafted and passed on and many domestic elements to experiment with with the eventual gaining of personal residence.
But my thoughts are also on the world we live in. There are some ideas that I am chewing on and will need to crumble before I feel satisfied to spit as reality. Many ideas have come from places I never thought I would feel of think because of my nature. Example: The world is a very tough place, with many grim realities and hard truths that I was not looking for or ready to sit down with. I remain an optimist, but I carry with me now some weighted concepts such as the depth of human evil or the disregard of choice or the consequences that my generation will have to face despite our carrying on. I have know this for a while but now it is true like the sunrise, there are no easy answers. The new ideas are here, neither good nor bad, just here.
My main concern with the last entry is thanks. I need to go through a list of people whom have kept me going and allowed me to connect with the home I call Eugene and the places I have visited in the last 3 1/2 months.
I want thanks to be given to all the people whom I have stayed with. I think most will never read these words but of those who will, thank you for being saints and angels. To allow someone into your home and treat them with shelter, water, food, showers, coffee, wine, etc., is a true selflessness. My thanks and gratitude will be ever flowing for what you have done.
I want to thank Jeff my traveling buddy for the first leg of my journey. This second leg would have been half baked and unfocused without all the mental, physical, emotional and comical work that was done in Spain and Morocco. You're a great friend, an admirable traveler and one hell of a spooner.
I want to thank my family for every dimension of their support. My parents have been so patient with my infrequence of decent contact, and without their letters and allowing me to stay with them during my fund raising phase, this journey just would not be. Kellen for keeping me up to date with his life and sending me love via ham-radio frequency in the stratosphere. My extended family is what brought me to this Earth, and despite our irregular contact please know I love you and I honor your role in my life.
I want to thank the Guthries for being so helpful and ready to pick up my raggedy ass wherever I was in Gauteng at a moment's notice. They are the salt of the earth, and I will always have a special nook in my heart for each one of them. Despite the fact that they still making fun of me for all those crazy 16 year old mistakes I made in their presence.
I want to thank all that have written to me while I was gone and to special individuals:
Encouragement barely paints the picture of the life preserver your letters have done for me LeeAnna.
Carter Renee, you are the symbol of adventure, you're a personal role model of mine and to continue to hear about your life keeps me glowing and sunny.
Elisa, your prayers and well-wishes keep me grounded and forward looking.
Andrew, I certainly have adventured on, dude. Though we didn't even meet up I still felt elation of positive energy from your words.
Who rocks? Tessa & Alisa rock, that's who. What a week together. You've taught me such beautiful ways to approach this world we live in.
Germaine, I give you serious credit for inspiring me to returning to South Africa. If I can be half the man you aim to be I'll have lived a successful life. What a friend you've been to me, and there is more life to be lived.
To have even spent a minute with my other half would have been enough, but the four days in Belgium with you Maud was a dream.
Matilde Januel, and the Januel family. Gros bisous! You are all a beautiful dream and I will never be free of your warmth and kindness.
All of my old friends from back in the day South Africa way: Johan, Ryk, Jean, Ismail, Kgomosto and Richard. You make me whole with the laughter and the joy experienced by your side.
Lastly, I want to thank anyone reading these very words. Consider yourself a Geographer. You are the Geographer. You have shared in a experiment that I have had no practice in before this journey and in the realm of experience your involvement by reading Yankee Shoestring, in whatever frequency, has made it successful.
Well Geographers, this is it. I hope to see you down the road and beyond the everyday. Embrace what you know to be true, but never stop searching for more.
Keep searching.
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